We were very gratified by the response to our story contest. You can look forward to seeing several of the many fine entries we received published in these pages in the weeks to come. This week, we feature one of our Second Prize Winners, Janice Jadedeah S. Shiu, from the Philippines, who is studying at Claremont Graduate University, in Southern California. We found her enthusiasm contagious, and we hope you do, too.

Enlarged Suprachiasmatic Nucleus in Homo Sapiens.
Where are the Homunculi?
By Janice Jadedeah S. Shiu

'Firsts' always come first.

'Firsts' are always memorable to me. Forrest Gump was right when he said that some memories stick to your mind for a reason. There are memories that will follow you wherever you go and whatever you do. I believe that these memories helped keep me sane as I read Mills, Lacan, Freud, Minow, Harding through my first term here while I holed up in my room with a laptop instead of a friend.

'Firsts' are like a box of chocolates, 'You never know what you'll get.' Only a few months ago, the main purpose of my life was to enter law school in the Philippines, and my dreams and aspirations were all in a neat methodical and chronological plan. Anyway, if I had followed that plan, I would have been burned-out by the time I was twenty-two years of age (e.g., I had planned to be a lawyer by twenty-four or twenty-five years old!). A letter from the Claremont Graduate University made me reconsider my fantasies. It was one of the most confusing times of my life - every well-conceived plan had to be put on hold. The whirlwind of activities after I made the BIG decision to study in the U.S. left me so exhausted that my first thought upon arrival was sleeping. (Yawn ho-hum, sleeping is a good antidote for any stressful situation - to all you caffeine addicts out there).

'Firsts' could be the worst times. I remember watching my cousin drive away during the first day of orientation and I felt that it was my first day in preparatory school again. I was finally alone again. The loneliness of being an international student can be frightening. It can serve to challenge you or it can drown you in your sorrow. I got over that feeling pretty soon, courtesy of a cute guy standing in one of the corners of the room. (I just wish that cute guys could also relax my tense and knotted nerves when I think about my papers, which are, by the way, due next week.)

'Firsts' could be the most wonderful times. I bet only a few of you could remember their first Autumn leaf falling - I do. It was just amazing how a leaf can turn to the shade of that fire-blasting Trimander of the Pokemons. I remember having fun on a Halloween - a holiday event that I had never enjoyed, because back home it was the day the ghosts and the monsters purportedly came out. Did I ever mention that I was a wimp?

'Firsts' could be frustrating, just like trying to clean your carpet with a toothbrush. Ordering food was never hard before, talking to people never made me so tense and self-conscious before, and nothing was as difficult to comprehend before. Being the brat that I am, I sublimated a lot. I put my distress into writing, I fixed my room, I read Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, I reread The Little Prince, I walked around the block twice in a row, I pestered my cousin (e.g., jumping on his bed), I did my laundry - just about anything that could make me dull to the painful and remorseful feelings I experienced sometimes.

Can you imagine a world without 'firsts'? Imagine there being no excitement, intimidation, fear, hope, and sorrow. It would make life taste like cardboard. There would be no memories to go back to and nothing to hold on to. I believe international students have to put up with a lot of 'firsts' and they deserve more than a diploma from school with a pat on the back; international students deserve a diploma certifying that in a few years, they have completed and experienced a whole course of study called life.

My 'firsts' as an international student have had profound effects on my life. I learned how to lift my head, to smile, to hope, to hold on, to let go - all without shedding those abundant tears that I used to have. All this in such a short while that not all my twenty-one years of experiences could compare to it. Life is not about bleeding just to know that you are alive, it is also about touching lives. No matter how frustrated or happy we can be, we should remember that as international students, we represent a different perspective on life to the citizens here. They touch our lives in the same way that we touch their lives.

(Note: The title has no bearing whatsoever on the contents of this article - ha ha!)